Sue Sylvester Knows Absolutely Everything
by fleurs colorees
Summary: Sue's failed relationship with Rod leads her to giving out some unexpected advice. Because we all know under that badass exterior, she really does have a heart. : Implied Will/Emma, though the main characters included are not them.


Sue Sylvester Knows Absolutely Everything, Even When it Comes to Relationships

_"Emma is settling for me. And I love her so much, I don't care."_

-

Emma couldn't look Ken in the eye for a good three days after the word got out. Students and teachers alike were buzzing around the with the latest news to hit the school hallways - Coach Tanaka and Ms. Pillsbury were engaged.

Kids usually talked about it with a tinge of repulsion in their features, maybe the awkward chuckle. It wasn't weird for Mr. Schue and his wife to work together in the same building; they'd been married for a while and the two of them didn't meet in their workplace. It was weird to think of the school's guidance counselor and football coach together - like, _together_ together - acting all romantic, doting on each other and stuff? Gross. Students didn't find that cute, especially not in the case of their tough-as-nails football coach.

It was a nauseating image, but apparently, even hard headed teachers had soft hearts.

Teachers, on the other hand, found the news refreshing. It seemed McKinley High was center stage for so many unnecessary dramatics - Mr. Schuester's wife caused her fair share of damage to the faculty's reputation after drugging all the kids in her husband's club, and Mr. Schuester and Ms. Sylvester's problems with each other were echoing off the hallway walls for a while. To hear about such a union between staff members - well, sure, the chemistry seemed a little unlikely, but hey, it was marriage! Weddings were supposed to be lively and beautiful. It was finally something nice to hear about.

In fact, the only other teacher that seemed rather turned off by this exposure - other than the bride herself, ironically enough - was the Cheerios' leader. Commander-in-chief of the trophy squad, Ms. Sylvester.

Nobody - well, except Will - knew exactly what was going on in the woman's life, but suddenly, she seemed to strike a whole new level of cold-blooded viciousness. She lashed out at anyone, simply for being in her presence - though she notably always went a little harsher on the Glee Club's supervisor. It seemed as though the entire school ran for cover whenever she was around.

Except for Ken. Today was one of those days where Emma could barely even muster up a 'hello' to him, but he didn't mind. Not much, anyway. It bothered him a little bit, sure - she was going to be his wife, and she couldn't even properly greet him this morning, but Ken blamed it on her shaky nerves. The poor woman was easily embarrassed, it was one of the many cute things about his Emmanem that he so strongly adored.

"What a shame," Sue's voice was dripping in bitterness as she walked into the near-empty faculty lounge, protein shake in hand. "I was hoping I'd get to mercilessly ridicule my trusty threesome today, but it looks like the rest of it is missing," She said, noting Emma and Will's absence.

Ken half-nodded, barely glancing up at Sue from his seat at one of the round tables. He was eating his own lunch alone - Emma was probably locked up in her office, too petrified to hear any more 'Congratulations on your engagement!' wishes from any other teachers that afternoon. And as for Will, Ken honestly couldn't care where that guy was. Probably dancing his way into one of his Spanish classes, the pansy.

"Though from the sound of it, you three are more of a twosome these days. Congrats, buddy," Sue ignored Ken's lackluster response and swung her feet around a chair at the table, sitting down and plotting her shake container on the table with a commanding clap.

Perhaps the coach wasn't the most observant of men, but he was sharp enough to realize Emma wasn't in love with neither him or the idea of getting married. And he was sharp enough to detect the everlasting sarcasm that was embodied in Sue's tone.

"Yeah, thanks," He replied, though he didn't sound the least bit appreciative.

Sue took a swig of her protein shake, slamming it down on the table with as much vigor as the first time. "If you want my advice,"

"I don't --"

"I say run. Fast. Get out of it while you've still got the time," A sharp nod of her head told Ken that Sue never held back, and wasn't making an exception this time. Ken sighed uncomfortably.

"Not that I care, but why are you doing this to yourself?" She asked, keeping her voice nonchalant.

"Because I love --"

"A-_ha_!" Sue accusingly pointed her index finger at him, a slightly evil, slightly scary glow in her eyes.

"Love," She spat the word. "Such an inconsistent term, don't you think? One minute, they're playing Battleship with you like it's the only thing their little, insignificant mind can comprehend. And the next, they've got some some Channel 8 floozy's legs wrapped around them in a vice grip," She shook her head, glowering at the first object to catch her eye. The wall clock. Ken's lunch. Anything.

"Love is absolutely a vile business, let me tell you."

"Great, Sue, but I wasn't exactly looking for--"

"You and Irma," Sue continued to ignore Ken's responses, carrying on her own words as if they were the ones that'd been interrupted. "Is she in love with you?" The ferocious glint in her eye faded to a more quizzical look as shifted her tongue in her mouth. Ken hesitated, finally lifting his head to look straight at Sue's stern expression. He opened his mouth to respond, but couldn't even get a word in.

"Of course not," Sue answered her own question, "Because she's too busy hyperventilating whenever Twinkle Toes crosses her path."

Ken's eyes glanced downwards. He knew that already; there was no need for a brutal reminder.

"Ditch her." Sue's words were harsh. "Dump that woman like you dumped the sense to keep fanny packs in the decade where they belong."

"Huh?"

"Or you can sit back and take it," Her tone turned back to pleasantly sarcastic again, "Marry a woman that thinks you're only _okay_. But as for me?" She rolled her eyes and let out a confident sigh; the words coming out of her mouth were so obvious it was almost ridiculous that she had to verbalize them at all.

"I'd never settle. I'm Sue Sylvester," She put a hand to her chest for exaggeration. "And I wouldn't be caught dead wasting my time on any person who couldn't stay one-hundred-and-ten percent committed to me."

She stood up, a tight grip on her to-go cup as she moved for the door.

"Congrats, again, Track Shorts. I'm sure you and Ellen will have a hell of a wedding."

-

It's yesterday's news, and Emma still has her ring, though it doesn't symbolize much besides paid expenses now. He told her to keep it. She kept it tucked away in a desk drawer, still in the box it came in. She never wore it, and though Ken always said he was okay with that, maybe the secrecy became too much for him. Maybe he couldn't settle for a relationship where everything had to be compromised. Maybe _he_ didn't want to settle for being settled for.

Her eyes are bright and kind and he can see the relief written all over her face, despite her best efforts to hide it. He apologizes like a gentleman, but tells her not to accept less than she deserves, either. She shouldn't have to agree to being the consolation prize out of a failed marriage.

She's worthy of so much more than that. She deserves the world.

And if Twinkle Toes can't give that to her, then why settle for less?

* * *

Do you know how hard it is to write for Sue?! Coming up with her dialogue made my brain physically hurt. I hope I did her justice. ;)


End file.
